Conspiracies and the Like
by HalosandHeroes
Summary: Lisa loved her life with the Winchesters and their brand of wacky. However, she's noticed certain things that are just too hilarious to be anything but Fate laughing at them. Everybody else is thoroughly amused. Part of Vessels 'Verse.


**Drop a comment if there's an idea you want to see in the 'verse. No slash, smut, etc... y'all get it. :)**

* * *

1\. Turns out that Dean is a nickname for Michael. You heard her right: her lover was _named_ after the angel he's currently hosting, in some roundabout way. (She didn't put _that_ one together until Susan came to pick up her son Michael from a playdate with Ben one day and this kid answered to Dean. It was pretty funny when _her_ Dean came running with a glock in hand.)

2\. Sam (as many in our precious fandom know) can be considered short for Samael; a name some believe the Devil went by before he Fell. Who just so happened to be 'destined' to ride Sammy's - Sam's - ass 'till kingdom come.

3\. Adam committed the original sin in the Bible (So Bobby had been helping her brush up on her religion? Sue her.); eating the apple. Not only did their Adam 'eat the apple' first, so to speak, but he was also John's original (adulterous) sin.

4\. Pete's middle name was Joseph, who just so happened to be one of the people Gabriel had some sort of communication with. Gabriel told her that he was an honorable man that didn't deserve to die as young as he did.

5\. Sam wanted to be a lawyer when he was younger. Lawyers are often considered sly and not-quite-honorable. They're also associated with the Devil (See Devil's Advocate). Therefore, he had ties to the Devil even before he knew his supposed 'destiny'. It's fitting, then, that as a Seal he works to protect the children of God.

6\. Adam = healer. 'Nuff said.

7\. Castiel means 'to fall from God'. Which he did, in a sort of perverted way.

8\. The boys' age order lined up with that of the archangels they could hold.

.

Dean's eyebrow rose as Lisa read off her list, her fervor and pacing greatly amusing both consciousnesses within his body. "I go out for drinks with the guys and you create some conspiracy theories?"

She swallowed and nodded, hoping he wasn't about to start laughing at her.

Instead, he gave her a warm smile he must have picked up from their feathered family somewhere along the line and leaned in to plant a soft kiss on her plump lips. "I _knew_ there was a reason a woman like you would fall for a paranoid hunter like me."

"Ewww!"

Dean groaned and Lisa rolled her eyes playfully before turning to look at her grossed-out fourteen year-old. "Hi, honey. How was Jesse and Claire?"

Ah yes. A month or so after making it top side, Sam had made the sudden demand that one of the angels fly him to Montenegro. They spent two days hunting down a homeless kid who looked vaguely familiar; Sam confirmed it with a whispered "Jesse". They took the kid with them, much to Michael's unease, Raphael's mother hen nature, and Gabriel's childlike joy.

About the same time, Amelia called because oh _god_ they were hurting her baby and she didn't know what to do and the boys better help her, dammit. Sam stayed with Jesse because the kid had imprinted on his psychic power and aura - Raphael stayed to check their little friend and give Sam an adjustment because he was unhinged after seeing what became of the little boy.

MIchael and Gabriel revealed themselves in their complete, holy glory; eyes blazing with righteous judgement and punishment that had the two demons quaking the meat suits they could flee. And suddenly, Gabriel was arched over Amelia and Claire - great, golden wings shielding them from Michael's punishment.

"Sorry 'bout this, ladies. I'm Gabriel - er, and Pete's here, I guess; he says hello. That's Michael going all Terminator on the fuglies, but he riding Air Dean at the moment." His eyes trained in on Claire. "Want a lollipop, kiddo?"

Claire had nodded in a stunned manor, figuring she had a better chance if she kept in her savior's good graces. So candy in mouth, one hand gripping her mother's and the other in Gabriel's, Claire found herself plopped next to an uncomfortable Jesse who smiled lightly before returning his worried stare to a glowing, groaning Sam.

"What's wrong with him?" she ask quietly.

"Dunno. Raphael - that's the angel's name - told him to lay down and started humming this really pretty song. Then bam! And here we are."

It wasn't too much longer that the combined puppy eyes of Jesse and Claire had them moving in down the street (Gabriel and Sam somehow took care of it). Amelia adopted Jesse surprisingly quickly; she blamed Castiel and Raphael. Claire was every bit the protective older sister and barely would let Jesse out of her sight if the little boy wasn't globbed onto Sam. Amelia was already looking into self-defense for her daughter and Peter, Gabriel, and Adam, surprisingly, had teamed up to convince Sam, Jesse's pseudo father, if the angels could help him hone his abilities. Sam agreed, albeit reluctantly.

"Fine. Claire tried to get me and Jesse to help her organize her closet, but Midget zapped us to the backyard and we had a water fight to practice aiming and gun defense."

Dean snorted. The tallest Winchester had the shortest 'son'.

"Hmm. Ben, would you mind hunting down Flagstaff and Gadreel? I need you three to set the big table; Pete and Noel and Sam and Jess and the God Squad are coming over because we're going to break the news about Winny." Winny being the nickname for the newest Winchester that was on the way.

"Can the Novaks come?"

Dena laughed a little and ruffled Ben's short hair like he used to for Sammy. "Sure, kid. They're practically family, afterall."

Four hours later found Missouri's famous pie being passed around a rowdy table all shouting ideas for baby names. Dean took a swig of his beer, burped loudly to everyone but Ben and Pete's chagrin, and put on a mischievous smirk. A piece of paper was waved through the air.

"Hey! Anybody want to hear Lisa's conspiracy theories?"

Jesse smiled in anticipation from his perch nestled between a content Sam and Jess while Pete bounced excitedly. For once, Michael didn't even try to reel him in.


End file.
